Rambleocity

Did I tell you the internet went down last week for 4 hours?

Because it did.

And I thought I was going to shoot someone. Clearly the need for a break from technology would be helpful for me. (Not that it's going to happen any time soon, but it would be helpful.)

In other non-related items, I have a couple of work friends that I do the lunch thing with from time to time (usually at least once a week), and two of them are named Jenny. (It's like the 80s' all over again!)

It’s pretty interesting, because one was someone I hadn’t really seen since High School Marching Band (geek alert!!!), and the other I thought was my age. I was incorrect.

Though we share the same birthday (and I haven’t met someone with my same birthday… ever), she is FIVE YEARS YOUNGER than me. *ahem* This place sometimes makes me feel old. I’m on of the newbies in this department/company, but I’m seriously older than about 6 people around me. (And muuuuuuch younger than the other 10). It’s an interesting environment, needless to say. But everyone’s cool, so it works. For the most part.

Post Script to the last post

P. to the S. I think I need to stop listening to the Grey Album. Maybe. But I've got the new iPod and it is FAAAANCYYYYYY. And I am having the most fun filling it back up again. I love having one that actually WORKS!!!! :)

The old one – was from... oh crap, I got it for xmas... when I still lived in California but before I moved away to college... and Keith was just a baby (10)... So I guess it was 7 years old? And has barely worked for the last year or two. But I've been babying it as much as possible, not wanting to blow cash on a "frivolous" item. (And still saving up to buy that new car.)

But now that I have it? I use it ALL THE DAMNED TIME. I can't imagine life without it now! At work & need to focus? Throw on the iPod. On break & walking, need to drown out the noises of the industrial sector I work in? Bring the iPod. Going to the gym & need tunes? Clearly time for iPod. Driving anywhere and the radio antenna AND CD player are both broken? IPOD IT IS! (Tape adapter. Thank GOD that still works. Knock on wood.)

Hence, therefore, vis a vis, concordantly, ergo...



I am happy with the purchase of the new pod. (The fact that it froze up on me on day THREE was worrisome, as was the 10 d-bag Apple store employees loitering around an empty store that wouldn't couldn't help me because the "genius bar" was full and could they MAKE ME AN APPOINTMENT FOR TOMORROW filled me with rage.

But that was last week and now it's almost full and hasn't frozen since then and so there you go.

"New" job

Every time I have to send out an email to a new contact, I begin with this standard paragraph:

"I'd like to introduce myself to you. My name is *blah* and I am now your dedicated Representative on the *blah* team for your area. Blah blah blah..."

But every single time I think about this and go to find the example to cut & paste I sing in my head, "Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is HOV..."



And I crack up, but to myself. And I can't tell anyone why, mostly because I doubt they would get the joke. So not only do I (always) look crazy because I talk to myself, I also LAUGH to myself.

So it goes.

I know, I know. I have things to do.

I have work piling up and emails to return and computer babble to convert and review and other assorted tedium.

But it's Thursday afternoon. And tomorrow is the 4th of July. And I just don't have the brain matter available to get all that done. I just don't. Half of our staff is gone (physically or mentally), and hey guess what I'm not explaining myself to you! (Not that you asked me to.)

ANYWAY.

This may be the BEST "best-of" Craigslist ad ever. EVER. In all of creation and humanity, there has never been such a glorious want ad. I think you'll all understand when you read the following: Wait until you get to 'glistening love sword.'

Silda Spitzer, I will totally do you. - m4w
Date: 2008-03-12, 11:11AM EDT


Dear Silda Spitzer,

I'm not sure why Eliot needed to stray; the deeper afflictions that arise during married life are a private affair (pardon) and to speculate or analyze about them is pointless and cruel. I'm sure you and your husband both have difficult characteristics that drive you to distraction or worse. I am here to tell you that none of those things matter to me, because I do not want to marry you, Silda, I want to fuck you.

Silda, let's face it, you're hot. Aitch-Ayy-Double-DoubleYew-Tee. Hawwt.

I'm no great catch and have a tendency to be a bit of a prick, but hey, when you're standing there next to Eliot, humiliated, thinking "I can do better", are you really thinking about how much better? No. What's important right now is for you to dish it back, to arch your back and take it doggie-style with a thumb up your butt for good measure, to look back over your shoulder and see a different balding, self-righteous, smirking white guy grunting away and slapping your ass.

I am taller than Eliot.

When we move to the floor and hit the mish, you can reflect on your options: go for the divorce, the family-rending heartache with the big payday? Or stay together, knowing the payout might be just as good if you're good at slinging the guilt. Either way, Eliot's going to be out of a job for a while. Either way, I'm happy to diddle your clit.

Personally, my advice is to wait it out. I mean, Hillary has done pretty well, right? You never know how these things will go. I have had my share of ups and downs, too... and I'm not going to claim I'm any kind of a prince (or an ethics crusader). I have beat a man nearly to death, stolen candy from children, and yes, I'll admit it dirty girl, I'm an atheist. MMmmmm. Like that? None of my personal ups and downs matter anyway, Silda, because with me it's your ups-and-downs, on my glistening love sword, that matter.

I'll be waiting, Babe. Oh, and one more thing... I'll only tap you for $78.50 an hour. And that's negotiable, if you're up for anal.


Call me.

This is starting to feel like a "real" job...

And you know how much I attempt to steer clear of that.

Monday morning drive to the Anaheim Convention Center wasn't too bad. The traffic was minimal and I was able to stop by a Jack-in-the-Crack on the way for a tiny breakfast thing & a big cuppa fruit. (I'm working on the healthy lifestyle, I really am!) Now, not only did I used to live around that area for 2 years, but I've also been to Disneyland in the last 2 months. And yet... I'm in the far left lane, according to Yahoo maps, prepared to turn left onto Katella...

and I pull into the Disneyland parking lot. The funniest thing about that, I think, is that when I pulled in and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come in here!", the guy just walked over to the other side of the booth & grabbed a neon pink slip of paper that said EXIT, slipped it under my windshield wiper & pointed. As if to say, "Okay, dumbass. Get out of my sight."

So I finally park and get over to the auditorium at 12, go through registration, and meet with my crew at 12:15. I immediately ask my little 24 year old colleague if she brought the paperwork I needed for my meeting that afternoon. She didn't. (The project wasn't completed in time for me to grab it Friday afternoon, so she offered to bring it for me.) So instead of wandering all around the convention to see what all was around and fun, I spent the next hour and a half standing in line at the tiny little Fed Ex booth waiting to use their computer & printer. Unfortunately once I got the spreadsheet open, I realized that it was over 50 pages, unformatted. So I printed out what I thought were the most important pages, ran to the restroom to put yet another band-aid on my aching feet (word to the wise - though they look cute, hells are NEVER good to wear all day long and I know better), and headed back over to our company's booth.

Now, I was absolutely positive that my meeting wasn't until 4 pm, so when the gals said they were going to lunch around 1:30, I figured I had enough time to walk over with them and get back in plenty of time. My Sales guy came over to tell me it was actually at 3, not 4, and they didn't end up leaving until after 2:30 anyway, so no go there. The meeting was... interesting. Not really knowing what to expect from this particular customer, I mostly just listened and piped in here and there when there was something I actually understood & could contribute. Mostly I think we took the meeting so that the head woman could vent at us. She was quite the character, really. Not mean at all, just kind of intense. All in all, it was a decent first attempt at meeting with a big customer. (Mostly because I kept quiet and nodded a lot.)

Did I mention that by about 10 minutes into this Convention Center I was dripping with sweat? I was told to wear a business pants suit, as were all of my colleagues. I was the only one who did so. My two little early-20's cohorts were dressed very nicely, but in little skirts and breezy blouses. If only I had that kind of wardrobe... but I don't and I can't tell you how disgusted I was with the sheer volume of fluids pouring out the back of my head. It's just not right. Not right at all.

The ride home was a bit traffic laden, since I left Anaheim right smack dab in the middle of rush hour traffic, but man oh MAN was I glad to be home. And then there were only 3 more work days left in the week!

Happy early 4th of July!

I believe the words I'm searching for are, "Hummina hummina hummina..."

Any excuse to show off Robert Downey, Jr. Also playing with blogger - you know, once you figure these things out you just want to make it pretty and shiny. Or add numerous pictures and widgets and quizzes and such. I'll stick to the pretty for now. Inn't he purdy? Thanks to my new favorite writer for the idea & the pic: The Park Bench.

Live every week like it's Shark Week

Gone to Alaska. stop. Will return with brown bear. stop. Might freeze nips off. stop. Send Hot Pockets. stop.