No, really. I'll pay cash.

Word of warning: when traveling for more than 1 day, count the remaining pills in the bottle very carefully. When you begin to take medication for depression, they are very serious to point out that you cannot simply stop taking them for any reason if you decide you don't want them anymore. Bad things can happen to your body. When beginning to take any new medication, you must start small and build the drugs up in your system. When you increase from a standard dose to a higher dose, you do the same thing - so when I went from 20 mg to 40 mg, I started with 20, went to 30, and eventually evened out at 40.

But life gets in the way. I was planning and packing for my week long vacation when I got the call that my father was in the hospital. My brain has been spinning ever since. So I did not count properly and as of yesterday ran out. Now, I've accidentally forgotten to take a pill here and there, with no real problems or side effects having missed one dose. But we're at day two of no meds and I'm starting to get somewhat worried - not because I think I'll go off the deep end or because I'm feeling badly, but because I know that I could start to get massive headaches and have an ever harder time dealing with my current situation unless I can somehow get the meds I need.

Also take in account that I'm not going home today - where I have a stash of 20 mg I could take. I'm currently in the Tucson Airport waiting to board a flight to Chicago. I've got to make a presentation over lunch tomorrow for around 15 people, and I'd really rather be at my best at that point, and not about to pull my hair out and scream. It's hard enough to get through these days as it is. Cut to yesterday, where I had to call my psychiatrist on her emergency line to ask her to call in an Rx to a Chicago pharmacy somewhat near my hotel. First - she's only licensed to practice medicine in California. (Duh, woman.) Second - I could have her fill the script at my local store, and they could have it transferred to a Chicago store. Great! I find a store using my smartphone, and Bob's your uncle, all things are good in Who-ville. Third - I call the store today to make sure the script will be ready when I arrive tonight, and guess what? The pharmacy is closed on the weekends. The next pharmacy? Closes at 4. My flight gets into O'Hare at 6.

The next best bet is a 24 hour pharmacy over a mile from the original store. I call them, and they are quite confused by the entire debacle. But I finally get to explain the situation, and she thinks she can help me. The only issue is that the other Rx has already been filled and charged to my insurance by the other pharmacy. Therefore, something that usually costs me $20/month will be... well, much more. I have no idea how much I'll have to pay once I get there, but I'm sure it won't be pretty. And now I know that next time, the costs of not taking enough medication with me on trips is not only stupid, but costly. Another lesson learned. Let's just hope that once I arrive in Chicago it works out. (Oh, and let's not forget that the airline I had to take to fly in & out of Tucson is currently experiencing pilot strikes which has lead to delays and cancellations this week...) The fun continues.

Oh, Danny.

Why is it that people crying (comically, of course), makes me laugh SO HARD?

Examples Something's Gotta Give - Diane Keaton



And this:

SO incredibly messed up.

I watched the first two episodes of Dexter last night, on recommendation from a friend.

That show? Is SO FUCKED UP.

And I'm almost afraid to admit... that I liked it. I almost feel like it is so creepy and bizarre that I shouldn't like it.

But I kinda do. Plus, the mild mannered gay brother from Six Feet Under is killing people now.

Awesome.

Did something rash

Ok, so...

I've been a bit frustrated/bored with work lately and started to daydream about new careers. First it was flight attendant.

Flight Attendant

So the thing you have to understand is that I spent a lot of my childhood on planes. Once a month from roughly the ages of 7 - 16 I flew by myself to visit my dad. I lived in Southern California, and my dad lived in San Francisco. (Which, coincidentally a decade later, is still my favorite city and I would love to live there one day.) It's not really like I admired them so much or that I thought what they did was so cool, but I always thought that I could do that - could travel the world and go anywhere I wanted and see everyone in my life that I miss and I wouldn't be in an office anymore!

Then, of course, I start to read up on the job. Long hours, insomnia, never staying in the same place for very long, crappy flights until you have worked there long enough, competition to get the job in the first place, and needing to know multiple languages to get International flights. And while I still thought I might do it, I was informed that my bff didn't want me to, for fear I might crash or something. A transcript with another friend:

me: I was thinking about becoming a flight attendant, but my best friend won't let me because she's afraid of wondering if I'm dead somewhere in the ocean every day
B: lol
a girl i dated was one
of those
she said it was MAD crazy fun
me: Who did she work for?
It seems like it's really a lot of work, though
B: american
it is
me: was she on int'l flights?
B: and you get shitty shifts when you 1st start
me: yeah
I figured
B: she did a few
i havent talked to her in a few months though
LOL
me: awww
sad panda!
B: i know
me: She was just on the go too much, eh?
Oh, and the hours
And the insomnia
madness
B: yeah
but you get to go around places
meet people
i should do it for a while
haha
all the cute girls i'd meet
..................
hm
me: ooooohhhhhhh
B, let's both do it!
We would have SO MUCH FUN
Even on the shitty shifts
B: yeah no kidding
i'll apply see what happens
me: party in a different city every night
B: what airline you thinking?
me: I'm not sure
I need to relearn a language first
So I can get on int'l flights
Those are totally better
B: pffft
we can work the regular ones and i'll teach you languages
me: hehe
I've got a little spanish
I want to learn sign
and italian
and french
and japanese
11:51 AM B: i can teach you all of those
me: nahhh
How you talk
B: yeah
i know all of those
nerd
me: suuuuuuuuuure
ok, let's DO IT
c'monnnn
B: i'm serious
i do
me: I know
B: and i could teach you
me: :)

Okay, so I've gotten off track. The title of this post is that I did something rash. Basically, when my friend convinced me that I shouldn't be a flight attendant, she suggested web designer. Sure, why not? I've got good computer skills & a decent sense of artistry & design. So I signed up for a class at the local JC. And then went to the library at lunch & got the only 3 books on the subject they had. (It's the smaller library). Wheeeee!

The beginning of "the book"

Subtitled: Things that make me think I really need to get on this.
Subtitled again: Wrong person, right idea.
Subtitled again again: I should be working more at work.

1:33 PM me: http://redactedblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/how-i-see-world-differently-now-since-i.html
You HAVE to watch the video.
1:36 PM J: WTF?
1:38 PM J: what is that about?
1:40 PM me: I can't figure out what the hell that video is from
Some random ass b movie
J: why did the sharks only eat men in tuxes?
1:42 PM me: Because he's classy, J.
OBVIOUSLY

I Want To Bee-Lieve

I want the next X-Files movie to be called:

The X-Files: The Gig Is Up.

And it's just Mulder & Scully making out for an hour and a half. I'd watch that.

I wanna marry yooooooouuuuu...

I have a new work friend, named Paula. I have to literally stop myself from singing,

"Heyyyy Heyyyyyyyyy, PAULA."

Every time I see her in the hallway.



We had a fun lunch today, though. It's so nice to get out of the office, and get to know new people. I tend to hide out in my little world and not try to branch out, but being in this crazy environment has sort of forced me to. It's good, I think. We split Cheese fries. And who doesn't want a friend who will do that? :)

Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...

As I'm sitting here about to type in an entry, the operator comes over the loudspeaker...

"Anastasia ***, please dial the operator. Anastasia ***, please dial the operator."

And I actually had to pause to think, "Is that for me?"

I think I need to start using my other pseudonyms for awhile.